Divorce Mediation

Divorce mediation gives you the smoothest, most effective way to reach a settlement. Using divorce mediation can prevent you and your spouse from experiencing the horror stories you’ve heard about, including years in divorce court and exorbitant legal bills. If you haven’t heard about many mediated divorces, that’s because they are private and low conflict.

Couples that choose mediation do not have to air their private family and financial lives in public courtrooms. Instead, spouses choosing to separate maintain control by working with their mediator to agree on the best way to resolve issues related to dissolving the marriage. At our office, our mediators are all licensed attorneys who guide divorcing spouses through the settlement talks, prepare all legal agreements, and file all court documents necessary for the divorce to be processed—beginning to end.

What is Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation is the process of coming up with an agreement on how to dissolve your marriage, with the aid of a trained mediator. It allows you and your spouse to decide the terms of your divorce (instead of leaving it up to a  judge to decide). It also allows you to complete your divorce without having to go to court. In mediation, you and your spouse meet with a neutral third party, the mediator. Usually, there are two or three sessions, lasting a few hours per session. With the mediator’s help, you work through the issues you need to resolve so the two of you can end your marriage quickly and cost-effectively. These issues can include divvying up property, child custody, child and spousal support, and any other topics you want.

What are the Benefits of Divorce Mediation?

Unlike litigated divorces (those decided in court), mediation is confidential. Spouses are free to brainstorm creative solutions. And they don’t have the pressure from resolving their issues in a public court where others would be privy to their private information. Mediation also usually results in a quicker settlement than litigated divorce. In Monterey, there is a backlog of cases at court. Months might pass before the court hears your issues. And in litigation, time is money — mediation is usually much less expensive than going to court. Another added benefit is control and flexibility. Since both parties participate in reaching agreements, they are more likely to be satisfied by them, and to follow the agreements after the divorce is final.

What Role Does the Mediator Play?

A divorce mediator is neutral, and doesn’t represent either spouse. This means the mediator cannot give legal advice to either party. Instead, the mediator assists the parties to come to solutions that the parties both agree to. Sometimes, the parties can reach an agreement quickly. Sometimes, they take longer. When issues are more heated or difficult, the mediator can step in to provide guidance, reality checks, and creative suggestions.

At Cornwall Family Law Office, our mediators are all licensed attorneys with experience in family law in Monterey County.  So, in addition to mediating, we are able to educate you on the law, give you realistic expectations of what will happen if you do go to court, prepare all of the necessary documents to finalize your divorce, and ensure that everything is legally sound.

We Don’t Get Along Well – How Can We Possibly Mediate?

Many mediating couples are amicable and work well in mediation. But there are also many couples who are very emotional about the divorce. It is not uncommon to think that they can’t negotiate face to face. Our mediators are trained to assist couples who have high emotions but who still would like to work things out peacefully. People do calm down and become effective mediation participants when they see that the process can work without adding to the high emotional and financial cost of divorce.

What If We Can’t Agree on Everything?

We have a high success rate with helping couples resolve their divorce through mediation. Although it is rare, some couples may agree on all but one or two issues. In that case, the work they put into mediation is seldom wasted. We prepare an agreement covering all of the settled issues. Then the parties can either litigate the remaining issues in court, or take time to think about them and return to mediation later.

What Role Do I Play?

Divorce mediation is voluntary, and will only work if you, your spouse, and the mediator agree to continue. Prepare to come to the mediation with an idea of what you want, but be willing to compromise. Mediation is only successful if you both put your differences aside, refrain from name-calling, and focus on moving forward.

For more information about initiating divorce mediation, or to schedule a consultation, contact Cornwall Family Law.